I hate when people ask me what I am doing with my life now that I am out of college. I hate feeling that I should be doing more, that I’m not doing enough…
I think what hit me is that…this is where I am. I have a college degree, and yet I am working at a hospital as a valet for less than $8 an hour. Every day I get up at 4:15am, take a shower, go back to bed for about 45 minutes, get back up to get around and leave the house by 5:30am to make it to work by 6:00 so I can be treated with contempt by ungrateful cancer patients and have my job threatened because sometimes, when approaching a customer, I don’t say, “Hello. Welcome to Memorial Hospital. Would you like us to park your car?”
I spent 5 years of my life and thousands of dollars to follow God’s call on my life and…I am parking cars.
I’ve tried the Purpose Driven thing, I’ve tried the Calvinist thing, I’ve even tried the Emergent thing, and you know what my conclusion is? Waste. Why have 5 purposes when I can hardly accept the one I have been given? Why spend my time defending 5 points of doctrine when there are people around me who need to see Christ incarnate? Why try to break free from organized religion when I have already done so by seeking to live the Way of Jesus? I wasted 40 days of my life reading a book that told me everything I already know. I wasted years of my life trying to convince people that TULIP was the faith that was “once for all delivered to the saints.” I wasted my time defending Emergent stuff against people who never were going to see things my way.
And what do I have to show for it?
I am parking cars at a hospital.
I am living with my in-laws.
I am right where God wants me…
But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith– that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. (Philippians 3:7-11 ESV)